灯台下暗し ー It's Always Darkest Just Beneath The Lighthouse


Weird. Very much so.

 

    I've been really into reading lately. It seems that all I do is reading. Actually, I'd never been an ardent reader myself until very recently in my life - truly. Reading was even something that I was aware that I was not good at. Especially silent reading. It was obvious that I was even bad at it. It was always boring to me. I couldn't concentrate on it. I just couldn't. So, it's very natural that I could never imagine that reading would become one of my hobbies - as big a part of my life as this. I know that I'm not as avid a reader as a bookworm. They are probably beyond me. At the same time, it's true that I'd never imagined myself being so engrossed in reading. So, I don't know why this is happening. But it IS happening. What changed my life, I wonder?

 

    It's funny it's typical of me. Yes, it is very much so.

 

    I'd always been thinking about borrowing books from the library for the past several weeks. It's strange that I felt as if library was the only place I could depend on. I was totally hooked on such an idea somehow. I was very narrow-minded. (Actually this is very typical of me.)  Yes, partly I was right. Taking advantage of library is a good idea. For one thing, it's very economical. You don't have to be a millionaire in order to enjoy reading. You're entitled to read as many as books you want (in reality, neither forever nor infinitely, though, of course, but as many as 6 books for two weeks, or two more weeks if you apply for the extension, but only once in my area, just FYI). You can just pick up whatever you like, but you don't have to what you don't. You're given so much freedom - though this freedom, ironically, is prone to make you very selfish, arrogant and irresponsible from time to time because it's all yours while staying with you. You can use them at your disposal. It might make you feel that you have complete control over them; you can take them wherever you want - whether it be outside, to a cafe, in bed or even in the bathtub (?). Nobody pries into your affairs, but please be as discreet as possible for its own sake.  

 

 

    So, getting books from the library was of great help for me more than I realized for a certain period of time. At least so, until this unexpected sensation overwhelmed me one day...

 

    To be honest, I gradually began to feel a bit frustrated once I learned the pleasure of doing something that you could never ever be allowed to do on the borrowed book. Since you should never ever damage things you have to share with others, so clearly you could've been forcing yourself to refrain from doing it while keeping borrowed books with you, no matter what - even if it's the end of the world. I'm sure you already know what it is - highlighting your favorite words and expressions with markers! (I did it on my own book, of course.) The more I got used to it, the more I realize the benefit I can get by doing it. Once I've liberated myself from highlighting whatever words and phrases I found useful for me to remember, I realized that I've came to a point where I couldn't stop this strong urge of mine any longer.

 

    Simply put, I began to find having my own books more handy in that it allows me to exert more power over it. No matter how much power you exert over it, no one reprimands you. This fact completely offset and outweighed the convenience and advantages of library books.

 

     Ironically, however, this situation did put me in hot water.

 

    With only books from library then, I totally had no idea what to do. I was between a rock and a hard place; I’m between the devil and the deep blue sea. In other words, I was in a quandary; I was in a HUGE predicament. I knew that I couldn't underline anything on the library books, no matter how irresistible their expressions might be!

 

 

     Then today, suddenly, this idea hit me, which I thought could affect my life in a way. I figured that my book shelf would have some books for me to read, since obviously, I must've have spent a FORTUNE on buying A LOT in the past (whether I've actually accomplished all or not XD In fact, 80% of books had been left unread just because they were too difficult for me back then. Ironically, this is also very typical of me. )

 

    Why couldn't I have noticed earlier, I wonder?  

 

    So, anyway, I tried searching my shelf for something good to read, and it turned out to be - just as I'd predicted! As they say, "It's always darkest just beneath the lighthouse."

 

    Here they are - my next lineup!   

 

    Actually, these are only part of my collection. This time, I only chose ones with bigger print, which is kinder to my eyes. It's pretty hard to admit, but I never know how could I survive without my reading glasses any longer.

 

    This is the book I just finished yesterday. 

"BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL" by Bob Greene 

    Funny. Very funny.

 

    Every time I read a book, the very last line of the very last page never fails to make me cry. I don' know why. Is it only because the book turned out to more interesting and was compelling enough to make me keep reading into the wee hours that made me feel sad to say goodbye to it? Or is it really because reading through books is still such an ordeal for me, as a matter of fact, and the fact that I'm finally be able to reach at the end made me feel relieved? Either way, I always get very emotional at the end and can't help but cry.   

 

    Oh, I can hardly wait to exposing myself to another endeavor of reading!

 

    As I said a little earlier, reading never was part of my life, but it is now. You never know what will happen to you that will change your life forever until it really happens. It's totally unexpected. It's totally unimaginable, incomprehensible and beyond your imagination.

 

    This is absolutely what makes your life more intriguing and exciting, isn't it?